This is a topic that had to sit a few days before I could run it. Had I done so while all the wounds were still fresh among the legion of people who adored the man, the tires on my car would’ve been slashed. My windows would’ve been busted out, car and condo. I might’ve even had some Neanderthal put sugar in my gas tank. Quite possibly, they may even have sent a warrior to my door to thump me a little. Since I’m 63 now, not the brawler I used to be, it may even have come out with me on the wrong side of an ass kickin’.
No one has yet published a reason for Junior killing himself. Speculation tells us it was all the ferocious body contact he underwent during 20 punishing NFL seasons. By all the accounts I’ve read, Junior Seau, (pronounced “SAY-Ow!”), was one helluva good guy. On May 11th, 2012, there was a huge memorial ceremony for him here at Qualcomm Stadium. Many from San Diego, with representatives from all across our country, were present to bid him adieu and speak fondly of the man.
Don’t want to sound tacky but, if they’d shown him all this love while he was still alive, it’s unlikely he’d've killed himself. Everyone loved Junior Seau, and he did endless good deeds for people who live here and other places in America. He most aptly fit the expression of a guy who couldn’t buy a drink or a meal no matter where he went. Oh, except he did buy ‘em. Junior always treated people, using a “share the wealth” philosophy. Still, I’m led to understand that had little to do with his popularity. Everyone simply loved the man.
That’s nice, except he’s dead. Took his own life, too. That’s an act usually associated with a man facing an unconquerable challenge. A severe illness that will eventually show itself as totally debilitating. Maybe abject poverty, leading to outright shame and, as happened to me, homelessness. Possibly for the rest of his life. Maybe, albeit a bullshit reason, the loss of one’s soul mate. I’ve faced that one, too. Hell, the worst case was when I lost my beloved Irish wolfhound, Movuggah, in 2004. That DID leave me homeless 4⅓ years, but I finally got past it. You never “get over” those things, but you do “get past” ‘em.
Junior had oodles of reasons to live, but he killed himself. Suicide is seldom an act done by a man amidst company. Good friends. People who love him. So, we come to the reason I might’ve seen massive retaliation had I said anything even remotely unkind about Junior when the wounds were still fresh. Can anyone even imagine he’d've killed himself if the ceremony had been held while he was still with us? It’s a preposterous thought. That means the world assumed Junior knew he was so loved by everyone.
What if he didn’t know it? What if the untrue thoughts that motivated him to end it all had been dispelled by outward actions of love from so many? Think he’d still be with us?
So, let’s notch it down a few degrees. What if you showed that kind of love, even in a greatly reduced degree, for people who are on the very brink of being homeless now? There was a valid reason … in my mind in 2005 … to take my own life, although I failed at it. If you were asked after a man was dead about showing him you cared while he was still alive, what would be your answer? Whatever you might honestly do, there are people still alive who’d benefit from you doing what you say you’d do … if you only knew.
If you’d like to road test my theory, try it on a homeless guy. We’ll all gladly volunteer to be the guinea pig for that one.
I’m just sayin’.
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
People always say they didn’t have a clue, but I think those people must lack awareness and empathy not to think about what is going on in someones life and what their life may be like. Everyone has free time and time is free to show their love and support. (Some say time is money, but only a rare handful spend all their time making money.. and maybe giving some of that would enable someone who needs it to enhance their quality of life) Point being, everyone has some way to show their love and support.. it’s not what people tell you, it’s what they show you.
That’s a fine way of saying it, Deb. Thank you for the contribution of thought.
Glad you were able to stay with us, Bill. There’s work to do.
Yeah, that’s the way I see it. 10Q for the moral support.
His death is also causing another “demise”. The restaurant he founded in 1996 is now going out of business. http://www.utsandiego.com/news/2012/may/16/seaus-restaurant-shuts-down/