Being in love

Something I used to do, but I quit. Maybe I never even really got started. At least, if we base it on the two-way street premise, I didn’t.

Lesley Gore, who rocketed to mediocrity in the ’60s, had a few songs, none of them “super” hits for anyone who enjoys real music. She began with “It’s My Party” while still in high school and sold her teen songs for a few years. One of her tunes, almost “bubble gum” music, was “Sunshine & Lollipops”, which you’ll see at the bottom, or not. Your choice.

It’s the same two verses repeated three times. One mentions being “in love to stay”, which is virtually all fictional, in my opinion. There are always the exceptions to the rule, such as my friends Alex and Sharon, or Rick and Jane, but those aren’t the situations of the masses as I’ve found it.

Reflection brings about some amazing conflicted points of view. I still can’t understand how any person can go from being the most wonderful being ever born to become someone so vile and despicable we can’t even converse together. My life has shown it both ways, from women who were that to me and, in reverse, I was that to them. The “love”, as understood by me, was a mixture of “being in love” and “being in sex”. However, when circumstances change and the sex is removed, the bare essence of love becomes something new.

The one we love is the one we respect more than anyone else. We then worry about that person’s health, happiness and wellbeing. Try to please him-her. Draw happiness merely from knowing our partner is glad or pleased. Still, at every opportunity, we continue to confuse the “sex” and the “love”.

I’m able to attest one without the other can be stupefying to those who don’t know better. I’ve been in relationships I can now see were totally sex and nothing more. At times, not even “like”. When the infatuation wears away, and it always will, if there isn’t a deeper core to rely on, there’s nothing left at all. That’s when we tend to notice the “little things” we once ignored and they magnify. Become too large to get around and dwarf everything we used to see as good in that person.

Yet we drew something while we were “in love”, or told ourselves that was true. I wonder now why we can’t look for the good parts of those feelings in our relationships with others. In essence, it only means treating someone better than they can expect and getting the same in return. If the situation isn’t muddled and confused with sex, it could include just about anyone. It starts with the giving, just like a dog will do, and thrives on the getting, which makes us want to give more to make it continue.

If seen in that light, we can have that relationship with almost anyone. As a matter of fact, it can even be done with someone who’s homeless. I can guarantee any affection and good will you show to one of us will be returned in kind. I’ll always be a homeless guy as long as there are legal Americans without a roof, a bed and food to eat.

After all, everyone older than age six knows the world isn’t all “Sunshine & Lollipops”.

I’m just sayin’.

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